Slowing down and smiling more

Because apparently I have to learn this lesson again and again

Pull Up A Chair is a weekly newsletter containing all the things I’d like to be chatting about if we could hang out together in real life. Every week, I start with three things I’ve enjoyed, and then write in more detail about something I’ve been thinking about. 

• 🥤 Carafe and glass set. We all know drinking water is a good idea, but somehow, first thing in the morning, the idea of a mug full of hot coffee is always more inviting than room-temperature water that’s been on my nightstand for hours. I’ve got myself a smallish water carafe and glass set from Typo, and I just fill it up and pop it in the fridge in the evening, so that in the morning there’s almost a litre of fridge-cold water ready for me. Plus it’s cute!

• 📕 The Boyfriend Candidate by Ashley Winstead. Fake dating romance plus political campaign drama. I went into this book with high expectations and they were met - I really enjoyed it! This is already out in ebook but comes out in the UK in paperback next month. (Bookshop.org | Amazon - ad, affiliate links)

• 🩰 Ballet. I had my first ballet class since moving to Bristol this week and it was fantastic. A new city, a new teacher, a new class, and yet the language of ballet is the same, and it felt so good to be back testing my muscles in that way. 

After telling you all two weeks ago that I was happy to hold off autumn and enjoy the last bits of summer, we went on to have record-breaking temperatures in England (for September) last week, which sent my climate anxiety up another hundred notches above its normal level. So I was really glad when the weather broke at the start of this week; although it’s still warm, I went out today wearing tights and a jacket - you know, like you’d expect to in Autumn! 

One of the joys of having moved to Bristol is being able to easily travel to so many places, and this Saturday I hopped on a train to Bath for the day. It’s where I went to uni, so strolling around with my Alumni library card in my wallet and feeling like I belong there was a really nice feeling. A real ‘homecoming.’ There are some parts of town that are exactly the same as when I was a student, and other things that have changed completely. Even weirder, though, are the things that I didn’t expect to have changed; all the side doors to Marks & Spencer’s have (presumably to prevent shoplifting) become fire exits only! Compared to every other time I’ve visited Bath since graduating seven years ago, this felt special: now I live a 15 minute train ride away, I didn’t feel any pressure to make the most of the trip. So when I started to get hangry at lunchtime, instead of pushing my way through the rugby crowds to go to an interesting small cafe, I just went to Pret and got a toastie.

The Cork and Truckle, a British wine and cheese specialists, which of course runs tasting sessions… 🤤

Being able to take things slowly has been a real sign of feeling ‘at home’ here. I’ve known I was ‘about to move’ since last Spring, so I had 18 months of feeling as if I needed to make the most of everything before I left Edinburgh. I felt guilty on weekends when I didn’t do anything interesting. Now, I’m here indefinitely, so it’s fine to stay in on a weekend afternoon, run a bath, and read a book. Of course, I did that in Edinburgh too - but I always felt like I should be making more of my time. 

Funnily enough, now I don’t feel that pressure to enjoy myself, I’m out and about even more. This week, I had a couple of dance classes, an evening at an arcade games bar, and a macramé workshop thanks to my office’s ‘workplace experience’ activity programme, as well as joining a board games night and my Saturday trip to Bath. Oh, and four days’ work in the office too! (More on that in the future). 

It turns out life can be more fun when you take the pressure off a little bit. 

Which is pretty much exactly what I discovered after going to counselling during my nervous breakdown at uni, nine years ago. 

Strange how there are some lessons we have to relearn again and again, isn’t it? 

Speak soon,

Lily

If you’d like to access paid content, but can’t afford to, do ping me an email and I’ll happily give you free access.

PS: The Amazon affiliate links above only work to give me commission if you click through from the Substack app or website, rather than directly from your email program. Other ways to support this newsletter include liking, commenting, and sharing it with a friend who you think might like it. Thanks in advance!