Some Things I Have Learnt This Year
Last summer I looked at my looming 30th birthday and said, “I want to be 30 on purpose. I don’t want to let 30 happen to me, I want to happen to IT.”.
And I, mostly, have. I got my first tattoo last October, which I continue to love. I gathered 40 of my favourite people in one room to celebrate turning 30 in February, and organised a lunch for some of the adults who I consider ‘extra aunts and uncles’ to thank them for being part of the village that raised me. I went Interrailing this summer (and had a wonderful time even though the concert I travelled for was cancelled), and then managed to go to Wembley Stadium to see the Eras Tour once I got back! The biggest thing is that I’ve stepped away from my employer of 8 years to go back to uni. The experience of stepping back into academia has been incredible.
But in amongst all of these big things, I’ve picked up some little gems of learning along the way. And I wanted to share them with you:
I can read a book - and love it - without immediately having to go and follow that writer on Instagram and/or Substack.
I was subscribed to well over 200 newsletters until recently, and my Substack inbox was stressing me out. Which is not what it’s there for! I took a deep breath, and made my way through the list of newsletters I was signed up for, and got rid of about half of them. What I’ve realised is that that doesn’t mean I’ll never hear from those writers again. Thanks to Substack’s Notes feature, I’ll see links to their posts on my home feed, and I’ll click through, read, and hit the like button. But that doesn’t mean I need to be subscribed to everything.
(Yes, I realise the irony of telling you all this at the same time as having a goal to reach 200 email subscribers by the end of the year. I’m so close to reaching it!!)Taking a rest day doesn’t mean I’m lazy.
’s Laziness Does Not Exist* (*ad - affiliate link) last November, and having those messages percolating through my mind really helped this reframe.
When I say a ‘rest day’ I mean a REST day. In my diary I actually call them ‘potato days’. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and although the medication does help with the fatigue I was experiencing, I still have to manage my energy levels and be careful not to be too constantly on the go.
There’s a lot of stuff out there saying “rest makes you more productive” - which I don’t love, as it still frames everything around productivity. Far better to say “resting makes me happier” which it does. I read
I don’t need caffeine to get stuff done.
Part of the ‘writer image’ is the endless jokes like ‘coffee goes in and words come out’. But this Spring I decided to have some time away from caffeine and see what happened. Apart from anything else, it’s easier. I only have to buy decaf, and never have to ask myself if it’s too late in the day to have a coffee. I sleep better, and I feel just as creative and productive as I was before. I still drink ‘real tea’ (apparently the way the L-theanine works makes the caffeine hit differently?) but other than that you’ll often find me with a chai latte or a hot chocolate when I’m writing in coffee shops these days. And I love to have a decaf latte or cappuccino after I finish a run.
Hiking is great!
About this time last year, I bought my first pair of hiking boots in about 15 years. A few experiments with socks and micropore tape later, I got refitted into a new pair that are perfect for my feet, and now I love to spend weekend days crossing the countryside under my own steam. I’ve even got a walking holiday booked with my best mate for next summer (which I think makes us officially olds).
(The one thing I don’t like about my boots, pictured below, is that the top lace hooks are pretty shallow and the laces often come ungripped from them. Would love to hear of any potential solutions to that!)
Committing to the ‘road less travelled’ will make me happier than trying to follow what everyone else is doing.
described in this wonderful piece for a couple of weeks ago. Somehow it’s easier to admit that now I’m not being a “go-getting career woman” all the time?
I wrote earlier this autumn about taking my own route through life, and then listened to Andrew Garfield on Modern Love talking about the longing to connect and make the most of whatever fleeting fragile life we’re given.
Part of why I decided to take a pause in the work I’d been doing was that I had been trying, and failing, to get to the next step in my career, and I was fed up of throwing spaghetti at the wall. By going back to uni, I’ve been reminded of what’s actually important - to me and on the subject of climate change (what I’ve been doing for work and what I’m studying now at law school) - and what isn’t.
It’s not just about work, though - much as I enjoy being self-sufficient and being able to make decisions about my life, I recognise ‘the ache’ for a person to share my life with that
I’d love to hear what you, readers, have learnt this year - especially if you’ve also had big birthdays or life milestones over the last twelve months.
Speak soon,
Lily
P.S. - I have fallen well behind on sharing my usual monthly links round-ups - so I’m going to publish a series of bonus lists of links over the coming days, for those moments when you need a little mental escape from the busy-ness of the festive period.
I also turned 30 this year and you perfectly described my feelings.