I read my way out

Winter is tough, but so am I

• 🍪 M&S Easter Spiced Biscuits. I couldn’t resist buying these when I saw them on the shelf yesterday - they looked exactly like the kind of roll-out biscuits I used to make with my mum and grandma. The ingredients list lives up to that too - it’s only ingredients I’d use at home - and I’m glad to say that they taste incredible too. Bring on Spring fripperies! (More on that next week, perhaps?) (Ocado). 

• 🥘 Winter stodge. Although Spring is in sight (see above), it feels like it’s been raining for the last ten days solid. I’ve been getting Riverford organic veg boxes (£15 off for new customers with this referral link), and this week’s had a bag of lovely waxy potatoes and a punnet of cute brown mushrooms. Lucky for me, Deb Perelman at Smitten Kitchen had just published the perfect new recipe to use both of those together. Gorgeous.

• 📕 Paris Daillencourt is About To Crumble by Alexis Hall, read for audio by Ewan Goddard. This is the second book in Alexis Hall’s Winner Bakes All series, set behind the scenes of ‘Bake Expectations’, a BBC baking show filmed over a series of weeks in the ballroom of a grand country house, featuring tough technical ‘blind bakes’, spectacular challenges, and an acerbic middle-aged gay woman host. Sound familiar? 😉. I absolutely loved the first book, Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake, and in general I think Alexis Hall’s romance books translate amazingly well to audio. They’re full of quippy dialogue and fun details - and they’re totally ‘closed-door’, which makes them safe to listen to while out in public! This one is full of anxiety and mental health content, so if that’s not something you’re up for, maybe look at something else in Alexis Hall’s catalogue (Amazon - ad, affiliate link)

It really is the crappy tail end of winter now. I’m imagining a horse’s tail that’s in dire need of brushing and washing (do horse tails get washed? I can’t remember from my days as a Horse Girl!), covered in mud, and matted and tangled.

For all the hygge-candles-positivity that got us through November through to January, it feels like everyone has got to the end of February and gone, “pfffffhhhhhhhhhh”, like a deflating balloon.

Very literal image from the delightfully named Balloonacy

I got three-quarters of the way through this month having finished ‘only’ five books. I know, I know, for most people, that’s a ridiculous amount - but it’s less than half what I’d read at this point in January. What’s most important here was not the quantity of books I’d read, but what it reflected: instead of curling up with a book, I’d been scrolling aimlessly (which takes some doing, with Twitter and Instagram’s apps still off my phone and tablet), staring into space, and sleeping an awful lot.

I’m now on some meds that should help with the being-tired-all-the-time thing, though it’s too soon to know yet how they’re working. But what I really wanted to tell you about was this: the magic of reading.

Yeah, I know, preaching to the converted. But hold on just a moment. I don’t want to talk about the transporting powers of reading, to show you worlds you otherwise might not see. I’m not here (today anyway) to talk about the empathy that reading brings, showing you an experience you might not previously have known existed.

I want to talk about the healing power of reading. There’s been a couple of things this week that have cued up this chat for today.

First, I attended a session run by the LGBT+ network at my day job, to talk about self care and looking after ourselves, preventing activist burnout. Someone mentioned feeling really alive when they were outdoors, or dancing with their friends in a sticky nightclub, and it reminded me about Leila Sales’s book This Song Will Save Your Life (ad - affiliate link), which I read shortly after its autumn 2013 release, at the Worst Time of my university nervous breakdown. (Disclaimer - I haven’t read it in a few years, so I’m not sure how well it’s aged).

All her life, Elise Dembowski has been an outsider. Starting a new school, she dreams of fitting in at last – but when her best attempts at popularity fail, she almost gives up. In a cry for help, she self-harms, and when news of that gets around school, things get even worse for Elise.
But then she stumbles upon a secret warehouse party. There, at night, Elise can be a different person, making real friends, falling in love for the first time, and finding her true passion – DJing.

Obviously, it doesn’t all go smoothly - but reading the book reminded me of what it feels like to do something you’re good at. I hadn’t yet discovered any sports that made me feel like that, but I’d been lucky enough to take part in some Slambassadors poetry workshops when I was 16-17, and had felt the magic of standing on a stage, holding an auditorium’s attendance with nothing more than my voice and my poetry.

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that This Song Will Save Your Life helped me save mine.

Second, and less existentially, I read this fab post here on Substack by Penny Wincer:

On reading to feel better

Sometimes you’re not in the ‘depths of despair’ (as Anne Shirley would say), just… glum. And if you’re going to feel that way at any time, then late February, the week before your period, is probably when it’s going to hit.

Cue to me scrolling through NetGalley on the train last weekend, and reading the blurb for Eleanor Goymer’s April debut, The Fallback (ad - affiliate link). It sounded like my favourite type of white bread reading: a British rom-com featuring an intelligent woman who just can’t get her love life on track.

Reader, I loved it.

The protagonist, Rosie, is a brilliant virologist (hashtag-STEMinist!) based at an unnamed London university (from the description of the location, and the author’s CV, I think it’s King’s College), with an amazing work best friend and sister-in-law, both of whom have lives that appear to be right on track - the track that Rosie can’t seem to get on, even if she could decide if she wanted to. There’s also a terrifyingly brilliant boss, Rachel, who you’ll love to meet between the pages of this book.

I read this in less than 24 hours, and while it didn’t single-handedly get me out of my funk (see, ten days of continuous rain), it was exactly what I needed.

Speak soon,

Lily

PS: The Amazon affiliate link above only works to give me commission if you click through from the Substack app or website, rather than directly from your email program. Other ways to support this newsletter include liking, commenting, and sharing it with a friend who you think might like it. Thanks in advance!

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If you liked this, you might like my summary of my favourite reads for 2023:

Or last summer’s book flight of swoony romance (I’ve fallen out of the habit of doing book flight and concierge posts - shout if you’d like them back!):