I don't hate you, not even a little bit, not at all
Links, Listens & Likes for May
One of my favourite monthly pieces to share with you all is this round-up of what I’ve read, listened, and liked over the course of the month. I’ve added a new category this month… read on to find out what it is. Here goes!
This is a long, full-of-links, email which might get cut-off by some email providers - I can recommend downloading the Substack App, which puts all your Substack newsletters in one place. I use it myself and really enjoy it.
Alternatively, you can read on my Substack webpage; Substack is the service I use to send out these emails; think of it as a blogging platform hosting my one-woman magazine.
Links
My kind of ‘hot girl walk’ - I loved the completely matter-of-fact tone of this Self.com piece about going out for a ‘Fart walk’ after dinner. For less fart-focussed walking (what a phrase!) I really enjoyed this piece by David Nicholls about the solace (if not ‘joy’ exactly) of long damp walks alone. I also enjoyed
’s descriptions of her relationship - or not - with the idealised ‘summer camps’ beloved of American films and TV.
For some fantasy wardrobe-building, I’ve loved reading about Amy Chock’s new TV show, The Girls On The Bus. Sadly it’s not available on any UK streamers yet, but I can at least look at the photos and costume analysis. Carla Gugino’s character’s wardrobe is aspirational - but Melissa Benoist’s character’s - that feels like a realistic (and yet still a notch upwards) style goal to me.
There’s been some fantastic pieces on Substack lately about capsule wardrobes, their seductive charm and yet real impossibility for many of us (fellow sweaty ladies unite with our need to own more than 2 pairs of jeans!). I recommend all three of these:
I have spent hours of my life, and more money than I can bear to contemplate, buying costumes for a play that will never be performed. It’s called ‘The Woman Who Everyone Approved Of’. It’s about a woman who manages to be beautiful, desirable, always understated and yet unignorable. This woman has never fluffed a job interview. She has never been rejected after a first date. She’s confident but relaxed in the office, at the gym, and at home on her sofa. She manages to look sexy but comfortable on Boxing Day, and never has to change into pyjama bottoms because her trousers hurt. Most importantly, TWWEAO never, ever spills.
Daisy Buchanan, in ‘Fear and clothing’
When I’m not dreaming of wonderful clothes (or at least looking well-tended), I’m dreaming of wonderful homes - I loved this Tiny Home in North Carolina, and learning about its resident, Liz Gilson.
If there is a word for people who behave like terriers, tucking themselves into cramped spaces that would drive others into fits, it probably has not been invented. But it would describe Liz Gilson.
Born in France to American parents, Ms. Gilson spent several childhood years living in a stately home in England where she begged to move her bedroom into a tiny storage room in the attic. Later, she was a sailor and boatyard worker in Australia.
“In my 20s, I lived on a 26-foot sailboat for five years and loved it; it was just the coziest, happiest time,” she recalled.
Not a tiny house, but a Tiny Space: when I say ‘introvert nook’, that’s probably all you’ll need to click through to this piece. (Thanks to
!)On a more serious note, you know I’m always interested in reading about other people’s attempts to find a healthy relationship with food and movement. Aja Frost at
wrote an excellent piece on letting ‘healthy habits’ go too far, and how logical it felt as she found it taking over, which had me transfixed:
I’m a big fan of Casey Johnston at She’s A Beast, and a recent email newsletter (behind the paywall) of hers was attempting to help a reader square this exact circle - how to lift and be fit without using their brain about it.
Also in the ‘self optimisation’ area is discussion of habits - I loved
’s reminder of why our habits need to be slack enough to leave space for inspiration and joy:
Reading Chloe Liese’s Better Hate Than Never reminded me of my love for 10 Things I Hate About You, so when I saw a New York Times profile headlined Julia Stiles Wanted to Be Just Like Kat Stratford, Too, I clicked through immediately. (Justice for The Prince & Me though!)
Listens
The Tortured Poets Department. Obviously.
Also Lizzy McAlpine’s new album, Older.
Likes
I loved this poem from Brianna Pastor’s collection good grief:
Mary Oliver of the Month
Every month I seem to include something inspired by the poetry of Mary Oliver, so I thought I should give it its own segment. What’s the point of having a newsletter if you can’t use it to indulge your own idiosyncrasies, right?
This is a beautiful printed banner by Frances Whitfield, currently on display at Hart’s Bakery - one of my favourite indies here in Bristol. You can check Frances’s work out on her Instagram too.
Plus, what I read in April
Now for the book list (all Amazon affiliate links - I get a few pence kickback at no extra cost to you):
Untypical by Pete Wharmby - I listened to this on audio, read by Wharmby. It was excellent - there’s definitely a ‘30 on purpose’ about neurospiciness in the works.
Love, Lists, and Fancy Ships by Sarah Grunder Ruiz - This had been on my wish list for ages and then I accidentally (really!) bought it when I was trying to move it from one ‘wish list’ to another. I really enjoyed it - the main character’s list of things to accomplish by her 30th birthday felt really relatable. My only disappointment was that the ‘fancy ships’ referred to in the title were luxury motor yachts.
The Pairing by Casey McQuiston - I have no idea which NetGalley god I pleased, but I was overjoyed to get an advance review copy of McQuiston’s new book. Pals, it’s incredible. The only - only - downside of having read it already is that I can’t read it for the first time while on my own European adventure in August. But I will absolutely reread it on that trip. Get your pre-orders in.
The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn - Clayborn does it again! I pre-ordered this months before its release date and absolutely loved it. What happens when your life becomes a true-crime podcast because of something that you really wish hadn’t happened to you? As Christina Lauren’s blurb says: ‘Poignant, observant, tender, and deeply romantic. This book is everything.’
The Paris Novel by Ruth Reichl - I already told you I loved this, didn’t I - truly delicious.
Pure Juliet by Stella Gibbons - I played bit of a word association game here. The main character of the Reichl novel is ‘Stella St. Vincent’ so I followed the ‘Stella’ link to pick up Gibbons’s ‘unseen and forgotten’ manuscript. This book goes to truly unexpected places and I found its treatment of Juliet’s super-smart personality (she’s almost certainly autistic) really interesting to read.
Oar Than Friends by Lulu Moore. Academic sports romance - rivals to lovers - characters coming to terms with not being who their families want them to be. Yes please.
Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots by Cat Sebastian - 1970s New York, two mixed-up men just trying to do as much good as they can, all the hurt/comfort you’d find in every one of Sebastian’s books. Wonderful. (Her new 20th century romance, You Should Be So Lucky, just came out and I can’t wait to get to it!)
Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella - great fun from one of the queens of British romantic comedy. She shared last month that she’s in treatment for an aggressive brain cancer so I wanted to support her in the best way I know to do so - buying one of her books.
Life, Loss, and Puffins by Catherine Ryan Hyde - another novel about a ‘freakishly smart’ young woman (really young, in this case - Ru is 13) whose life doesn’t go to plan.
Enchantment by
- I got a lot out of this book - I’ll link last month’s essay about spirituality below, but what I have to tell you is that I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. If you just think for a second you might enjoy it - go and get a copy!
On Spirituality
It’s time for April’s ‘30 on purpose’ essay; and as it’s a pretty long one this week I’m going to skip including the usual bundle of links to start us off.
Speak soon,
Lily
That poem by Brianna is everything 🙌 Thank you for sharing it, I always appreciate the poetry you include!
Thank you for including my poem in your newsletter! 💛😭